One Week Down
I love to take pictures of the girls, and I laughed when I saw the expression on Wave's face in this one as it pretty well expresses the crankiness we are feeling over waiting.
I had been pretty down for the better part of this past week, and even though I thought I remembered, I had forgotten exactly how it feels to be in this position.
As soon as we left court, I remembered that knot in my stomach that won't go away, how I have to keep reminding myself to unclench my teeth, and all of the other physical ways I feel this waiting nervously.
I was fighting ugly and bitter feelings this week as I thought about Thanksgiving approaching in a couple of days. I was just feeling so mad at the justice system for not putting the rights and needs of children first, and resentful towards the other party for not putting this little girl above themselves, and angry at trying to act happy during the holidays when everything is in limbo and nothing is certain.
Matt was teasing me about something the other night at dinner. Harper didn't realize he was joking and thought I would be upset. She said,
"Dad! 1 Thessalonians says be nice to my mommy!"
After he explained we were just having fun and we all laughed together, I started thinking about what verse Harper was referring to (which of course has nothing to do with being nice to mommies). At breakfast we work on memory verses.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says...
"Be joyful always. Pray continually. And give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Well. Okay.
So I am slowly coming back around and getting back into the mindset of loving the life we live.
And I do.
Love this life.
It is the one I have always wanted!
I love my girls giggling together in the backseat or in the bathtub, grown up dinners with Matt in our quiet house when the ladies are sleeping, finding Jamberry and Goodnight Moon in my bed when I lay down at night, the sweet commentary Harper provides for all of our day to day activities, and laundry baskets filled with tiny, clean, pink clothes.
So if this is the price we pay for all of that...
I can still find joy;
I can still pray continually,
and I can still give thanks in this circumstance.
So with a little bit of a lighter heart, we are anticipating a happy Thanksgiving this Thursday.
My family hopes that yours has as much to be thankful for as we do.
With Love and Much Gratitude,
Molly
2 comments:
Dearest M&M,
I just want to let you know that my husband and I, along with my parents and my friends are still praying for you and your family. I just ordered a bunch of prayer bracelets from D. last week, and I want to pass them on to my family members and all of my dearest friends.
I read D.'s latest e-mail and will use the utmost care to protect your privacy to the fullest extent. I am so sorry for any anxiety I may have caused by sharing the original blog link on my personal FB page. Any reference to your situation has been removed.
ML, you are such a strong mother and you have so much courage and grace. I am praying for God to give you and your husband peace in this upcoming holiday season. He is with you and He will give you rest.
Love in Christ,
J. Meyer in San Francisco, Ca.
Jackie,
Thank you so so much for your prayers. Rest assured, you did not cause one moment's anxiety! Naively we did not think at all about how easy something like this would be to find if someone wanted to or that it might be a negative instead of a positive thing. So thank you thank you thank you for following this story and for your kind words to us.
We are thankful for you,
Molly
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