In happy news we have recovered some of our lost pictures. I will now post Wavy's second birthday pictures followed by any other pictures taken in the last three months that fill my heart with happiness. "Hmmm. This is a little self indulgent, " I hear you thinking to yourself. Absolutely. "She knows and is doing it anyway?" you are now asking yourself with a sad shake of your head. That's right. I sure am.
"I'm two." Wave tells everyone that she is two. She says so somberly while holding up her peace sign. Generally in response to anything.
A few more pictures of one of the prettiest faces I know.
I would definitely say I (Molly) have hit the heightened sensitivity and cry-at-everything stage of the pre-trial countdown. I am back in that spot where I cry at EVERYTHING. Sad story: cry. Touching story: cry. The girls singing the Toyota Swagger Wagon song in the backseat of the car: cry. See... it doesn't take much! I just hate the fragile state we are in. That the worst thing in the world that could happen to someone, losing a child, is a possible reality for our family continues to take my breath away.
I wanted to thank anyone reading this for the encouragement we receive on such a regular basis. I get the nicest messages and texts from my girlfriends and sister who know I have a tendency to drop off the face of the earth when I'm not doing well. I see people who didn't know they would see me that day wearing their "For the Love of W" bracelets and it lifts my spirits in a way I can't describe. A girl I have not talked to since high school came through my coffee shop the other day and we said hello to each other. Later that week she came through the drive way and was crying in empathy as she told me she had learned about our situation. I keep thinking about that and feeling so touched that she would be that moved on our behalf (love you Katie). So I just wanted to remind you how thankful I am for the awesome friends and family and blog readers (!) we have who do so much to care for us as we stagger towards our date with the Kansas Supreme Court. Thank you for hanging in there with us for the last two years. I shudder to think where we would be without you. We are more grateful for you now than ever.
The good thing about my anxiety high: cleaner closets. Also, random low priority level project completion. Now if I could just do things that matter like returning phone calls and emails... I might be a horrible communicator right now, but if you are mad at me about it come over and I will wash your clothes in my homemade laundry detergent to make it up to you :)
Long exhale...we are feeling it! The daily wind up leading into court. It seems like our whole bodies get tenser each day leading up to our time in court until that day when we are just as tight as a drum. Then of course we just stay that way until we get the verdict. This weekend we had an idyllic time. You cannot even dream up how good it felt to be together for the WHOLE weekend! Matt or I (or both) always work on Saturday and often times I do on Sundays. To have two whole days together was pretty spectacular! We had a stay-cation with our favorite family of four. We spent the weekend at their house and went to the zoo, the city market, played in sprinklers, played dress up, looked at each other and smiled, the whole deal. Complete loveliness. And then tonight when the girls were in bed Matt and I had a terribly ugly conversation that included things about what we would need to do for Harper if the worst happened, and decisions about our future that are on hold while a terrible and scary outcome looms over us like a real life monster. I do not care for the fear and panic that lurk at the edges of our happy times. 30 days.
Please pray for the judges to be incapable of ruling against us. Just absolutely incapable.
There are several reasons we have not been updating this blog as much this summer. The main reason was that I (Molly) took a bit of a mental break and chose to hide out for awhile in a state of denial. I just couldn't face the reality of our looming court date. When there is no court date there is no decision to be made. Now that we have a date scheduled the reality of a negative outcome continues to smack. Additionally, we switched to a different computer and lost months of pictures. Birthdays, vacations, etc. all gone. I love chronicling our happy moments because of the permanence it gives these times. If the worst happens I could look back at these pictures and celebrate all of the beautiful time our family was whole. I am glad to say that Matt has some software he believes will restore these pictures. Yes! Until he gives it a go though there is not a lot to show here. However, I do want to keep Wave at the forefront of your mind in the hopes that you will keep us in your prayers. We have a wild and crazy and beautiful and charming little girl in our family that doesn't belong anywhere else. I would love to share a bit about what she is up to these days.
*Wave is a talker. Matt and I don't get to say a lot in the company of two girls with so much on their mind. Wavy is 25 months old and usually gets out a few 7 word sentences each day. For instance at Target while picking up some new underwear for Harper: "Wavy needs to hold undies like Harp." She thinks she is awesome when she calls Harper "Harp" or "Harps" or "Harper Harp." She likes to open the pantry door and tell me what snacks she is interested in: "Wavy needs a snack Mommy. Uhmm... how 'bout candy. No... how 'bout a sucker. Fruit snacks!" I generally say, "Oh, probably not right now. Maybe I'll think about it after you have (fill in the blank with healthy option)." Wave's response is always "I'll think 'bout it too."
*This girl can gallop. She throws her whole body into it and leads herself around the room with her hip cocked. This is usually accompanied by a huge grin.
*If you can't find us at home try the emergency room. I am waiting for the day where we make our first trip to the ER for stitches or a broken bone. Wavy dangles precariously out of her crib to reach the light switch or to try to escape from her bed. She climbs onto the coffee table and launches herself off onto the floor. She scales the outside of the stair case if you're not looking for one second. She won't sit down in the bathtub. She laughs in the face of danger and is always looking for the next adrenaline rush.
*Wavy loves her family. She is quick to say she is sorry if she does wrong. She wants to know where her sister is as soon as she wakes up every morning and every afternoon. She dries Harper's tears with her hands when Harper cries. She snuggles me and plays with my hair and calls out to me from her car seat, "I love you Mama!" She makes an extra effort to be a ham for Matt. She looks at him intently when he talks to her and you can see how much she loves her daddy all over her face.
*She's our daughter and we're her parents and we're all where we're supposed to be. Please continue to pray for the judges, our lawyer, and our family for the next 36 days and then as the judges make their decision. Please keep checking in and reading and praying.
We're so grateful for your support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.
PS When I was looking back through our pictures and feeling nervous and sad that I couldn't see any recent pictures of the girls, I was looking for different files and one of the last pictures we have is from early this spring. It is the picture of me coming home from work immediately after finding out that we won our last court case. I just want to post it one more time in anticipation of having a NEW picture of my whole family on the day that we win this upcoming case.
It's been quite some time since our last post, partly due to a wonderful and busy summer and partly due to there being very little development in our case for some time. Just as it was with the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court process is not a quick one. After each side has submitted all of their briefs it's anyone's guess when the court will put the case on the docket....so more waiting.
This summer its finally started to hit me in the face just how long all of this has been going on. Wavy's running around the house, talking in complete sentences and insists on doing everything herself. "No, Wavy do it" is her favorite phrase and she seems more like a child and less like a toddler every day. More and more I look at her and am almost in disbelief that we are still fighting this legal battle and that after 2 years there still is the possibility that she could be taken from us.
Well, recently the waiting for the Supreme Court to hear our case is finally over. We've received word that they will hear our case in a little over a month. So, on Sept 16th we'll step back into a court room and take the next step in what often feels like a never ending journey. Finally having a date where our case will be heard has carried a lot of familiar, but forgotten emotions with it - some good and some not so good. There really is some sense of relief knowing that this is going to move forward and not drag out indefinitely. We've so longed for this process to be complete and this is a big step towards that.
On the flip side, this also brings with it the anxiety and anxiousness that we seemed to escape from more and more this summer. To the forefront come all of the thoughts, the "what ifs" and the dread of sitting in another courtroom listening to our sweet daughter referred to by a number and not a name. Listening to the other side present a case that at best inaccurate. Watching the faces of judges for any clue as to which way they're being persuaded, and knowing that our daughter's future is in their hands. Pleading with God that he will give them Solomon's wisdom and that he will move in them to rule in our favor once again...and on and on it goes. It's just, quite honestly, one of the most difficult things we've had to endure.
One thing that is an incredible encouragement to us is knowing that so many people are praying for us. So many have followed this story and have supported us in so many ways. So many prayers have been brought before God on our family's behalf and so many people have pleaded with God for our family to stay together. It's encouraging to know, but we also feel strength and comfort in a very real way from your prayers, not only from day to day, but in those difficult places like the courtroom. So we continue to ask for your prayers knowing that the Father does here them and answer them.
Here's some specific things you can be praying for us:
For the justices...please pray that God would give them great wisdom along with a heart to do what is best for Waverley. Pray that God would, even now, be guiding their hearts and their minds for this appointed time in September. Pray that He would help them see clearly what is before them and that they will find a way to uphold the previous rulings.
For our attorney...pray that Kevin, our attorney will also be given great wisdom and that he will clearly see all of the details of our case. Pray that he will be effective and eloquent in front of the court and that what he says will find favor with the justices. Pray that our case will be ever present in his mind. That he will think of it often and that God will open his eyes to anything that might further strengthen our case. Pray that he will prepared for the 16th in every way.
For our girls...please pray that as Molly and I walk through this together that they will not sense or feel our stress and anxiety. That they will continue to feel loved and safe and that God will keep them from all of this.
For Molly and I...please pray that we will love and support one another well. That God will enable one of us to be strong when the other is weak. Pray that we will feel comfort and peace instead of worry and anxiety, and most of all that we will be reminded that God really has been in control over this from the beginning and that he is sovereign, even over the highest court in our state.
Several days ago, I was sharing the news of our new court date with some guys I've been friends with now for about 15 years. They all let me know that they would continue to be praying and encouraged me in this next leg of the journey and then one of them said something that seemed to encapsulate all that I've been praying for and wanting to pray for in just a few words. So, this will be my prayer the next several months as the courts hear and decide our case..."that this is the is the stage that God has chosen to bring the Wavy miracle to completion!"
Thank you all for every prayer you've prayed, every encouragement you've sent our way and the many, many way's you've supported us the last 2 years.