Monday, June 18, 2012

that sweet man

I was outside for a few hours this evening.  I got home and put the girl into bed.  It was late and quiet in my house.  I started thinking about going to bed.  I put my head down to do something and my hair fell forward.  It smelled like sunshine.  Which is exactly what Matt smelled like most of the time.  I wish he was in bed falling asleep beside me so much.  I would try to talk and tell him things -- often affirming things about him.  He usually wanted none of it -- when he was tired he was tired.  I would say something, and he would reply firmly, "goodNIGHT, Mol." Then I would roll my eyes in the dark and kiss him goodnight.  Oh I miss him.

9 comments:

Kelsey said...

Molly. I thought about you all day yesterday and wanted to text you, but my phone was stolen on Saturday (I KNOW). So I hope you felt my prayers, my tears, my love for you and sweet Harper even though I couldn't tell you. I have something for you. I'll get it to you soon. Much love from me to you.

Yia Yia said...

Me too, Moll...quirks and all.I think he knows, but he can't be sad. Love you!

Yia Yia said...

Me too, Moll...quirks and all! I think he knows, but he can't be sad. I'm glad for that part.Love you.

Jami Nato said...

i love reading your thoughts.

Jess said...

Oh Molly. It's midnight and my eyes are puffy from crying for you. His absence is felt here too with the work Josh has stayed up late doing on the Hope Center website. Matt's an incredibly amazing man and my heart hurts so much for you. So, so much for you. I know that doesn't even compare to the pain you are feeling. I love you, Lady. Im greatful for poolside conversations as the sun sets.

Pipsylou said...

I imagine there's an intensity iin that longing that words can't adequately convey. I wish I had something smart to say. I don't. Just wanted to comment and say I love that you would affirm things about him late at night. I remember thinking, reading your blog in the past, "Man, she is always building him up!"

Awesome.

Mira's mom said...

Molly I am so sorry you are hurting, missing, wanting, wishing. Praying that God will satisfy the longings with Himself. I don't know you, but I love you and i am praying for you often.

Christie said...

I love that you are still sharing. I love that you are so transparent and that others can see God at work here. I love your heart and it inspires me. At church yesterday, I thought of you and how hard that day must have been and the words "peace be with you" just rang out to me. Peace today, sweet Molly.

Adrienne said...

Hi Molly,
I'm always struck by what makes me miss people. The other day it was a nalgene water bottle with a YL logo on it found in the back of my cabinet. I'll be thinking of you around bedtime when you are missing Matt. Love to you.