Sunday, June 10, 2012

a thankful note

I am thankful that people subscribe to these long and rambling and usually sad posts.  Thank you.  I am thankful for the kind comments people leave.  I am thankful for the sweet cards I get in the mail.  I am thankful that people remember me and remember my girl.  Thank you.  It is the best encouragement.  I am thankful for the generous and thoughtful things that people have given me.  People are wonderful to us.  I don't deserve it.  But I love it and am grateful.  Thank you.

I am thankful for my daughter.  I am thankful that she is full of light and grace and tenderness and hilarious comments. I am thankful that she loves swimming and thinks she owns it with a kick board.  I am thankful that she still thinks I'm cool sometimes.  I am thankful she has more people that love her than almost anyone.  I am thankful for her friends.  Last week we stayed with our besties for a few days.  Harper and her friend have been missing each other this weekend.  Her girlfriend gave her mom this message for me to relay to Harps "I want Harper to always be here.  I know we'd argue but that's okay.  And I know what it'd be about.  Sometimes my little brother hurts me and Harper says, 'it's okay Benny; you're just so cute.' And I'm like, 'unbelievable, I thought I was your best friend.'" Come on - that is awesome.  I'm thankful for the minds of five year olds and summer vacation.

I am thankful for the good people that are taking care of me.  I could just list a bazillion names here.  I am so fortunate to have people that love me and want good things for me.  I hope that I have the chance to love other like they are loving me these days.  I feel selfish and humbled and needy.  But I wouldn't be making it without them.  So I'm deeply thankful.

I am thankful for simple pleasures.  A few quiet minutes by myself.  Dr. Pepper (always, right?).  A great book I read (Bel Canto by Ann Patchett.  If you like beautiful things you will read this.).  Good music with perfect lyrics.  A great laugh.  A funny pin on Pinterest.  I can't tell you why those "Hey Girl" Ryan Gosling pictures make me laugh like they do.  An episode of Modern Family while I eat a cupcake in bed.  What? Texts from people that check on me.

I had a day that was pretty hard to get through this past week.  A significant date for Matt and I.  I let myself be as sad as I wanted to.  I listened to sad songs and looked at things from our life.  It was pretty crushing.  I'll keep the details of it for myself.  However, in the midst of that I felt God's joy.  And for that I was the most thankful.  This life is hard.  It's bitter and ugly and feels like a beat down.  It is also filled with the sweetest joys and some happinesses that you couldn't make up if you tried to.  I'm crabby today.  Like you would NOT believe.  But I'm trying to choose joy.  I'm remembering that there is so much good.  There is much to be thankful for.  I'm going to go squeeze my girl.



Kelsey said...

Sometimes when I'm crabby, I tell Lila that Mommy needs her medicine. And then we go to QuikTrip to get a giant Dr. Pepper. I might be sending her mixed signals.

Sorry you're crabby today. I think Ryan Gosling would tell you to drink a Dr. Pepper.

P.S. my favorite part of that text is the 6-year-old use of the word, "unbelievable." So great.

Danielle @ Living Out Loud said...

I'll say it again... when I grow up, I want to be just like Molly Nagel! Honest, humble, faithful, adorable, nurturing, funny and GRATEFUL. You make me want to do better. You make me want to choose joy. Praying for you always.

ColleenaMareena said...

Although you might not feel like it, you are amazing, and such a great example. I think everyone has thought, "What would I ever do if this terrible thing happened?" and you are showing the world what to do. Your strength, humility, and faith are inspiring.

Also, my heart is filled with a quiet joy to know how well you are taken care of. I am a complete stranger half way across the country, and although your family has been in my prayers often this past year and a half or so, I worry that there's really nothing tangible I can do for you. I'm so glad that there are so many people out there who are happy to help and love you and your girl. Because you are awesome, and you DO deserve it.

Pipsylou said...

I think Ryan gosling actually said that line in the Notebook, right before that old lady who looked like a Klingon does something annoying. I couldn't stop looking at her forehead the entire movie. I could look at Ryan Gosling all day, though. If I didn't know that Harper actually existed I would be thinking that you make up the things she says. I've never known a 5 year old to have so much unintentional hilarity!

Jess said...

It's totally your fault I just spent 30 minutes reading "Hey Girl..." Pintrest pins! ;)