Monday, May 31, 2010

oh June.

One of the hard things for me (Molly) has been celebrating birthdays, holidays, and milestones without a sick feeling in my stomach that it could be the last for whatever that event is.  The last birthday, the last Christmas, the last whatever.  No matter how much I enjoy the day it just feels so weighty.  I feel determined to soak up every second of it.  Which is sometimes fine and sometimes impossible. 

The closer we get to Wave's second birthday the more it fills me with dread.  I absolutely want to celebrate two years with Sweet Wave as a charming and delightful girl I am lucky to have as our daughter, but it really feels like a constant reminder that this has been going on for basically two years and the end is nowhere in sight.  I am very sorry to be so glum here, I am just having a difficult time with the fact that tomorrow is the first day of June, and in twenty-four days my sweet girl will be two.  Last year at this time I was worse.  Just nervous and heavy-hearted all of the time, praying that Wavy's first birthday wouldn't be the only one I knew with her.  I am keeping a wary eye on the calender as these days pass by, hoping that we don't see her third birthday come in the same fashion.


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