Thursday, October 10, 2013

and then he was here

When I went into labor I was thrilled.  I was terrified they would send me home from the hospital and tell us to come back later.  Instead they said, "stay."

My mother is fabulous.  She had come to stay with Harper while we went to the hospital.  I felt so happy that she was home taking care of Harps through the night.  I called her and asked her to bring Harper up in the morning when they woke up.  If things moved quickly I would call her with that update and have them come sooner.  I had really looked forward to telling some select people when I was in labor.  So I called a few people.  My sisters didn't answer their phones.  I was pissed.  I wanted to use the, "I'm having a baby" tone on them.  Eventually they got back to me.  They came and checked on me in the middle of the night before going back home to take care of their own tiny babies.  I called my friend.  Her family was in from out of town, her tiny baby was keeping her up nights, and she had a lot of bad hospital hours logged with me already.  I thought she would squeal and tell me to call her every time something new happened and come see me in the morning.  She didn't.  She said, "don't have the baby in the next twenty minutes." She hung up and brought that baby and camped out all night long.  In fact, she didn't leave until the baby was born, 19 hours later.  Her husband came.  My brother in law Marky came.  They sat up in the lobby all night.  I felt so loved.  I felt so peaceful.  My two sets of in-laws came.  Jake's parents had been dealing with a small family crisis and came up after midnight to see how we were in person.  Matt's parents came up and said, "Mol! You're having a baby!" One of the sweetest moment I have ever known was when that night my father-in-law Brian stood by my bed and fed me italian ices.  All my people were for us.  They were rallying around us.  Happy for us.  Happy for this baby to be coming.  Happy to be in a hospital together to bring new life into this world instead of telling someone we loved goodbye.  It was a time of healing.

The next afternoon a small boy was born.  He was eight pounds even of pure deliciousness.   He charmed us immediately.  He made us all happier.  He wound us all the more tightly together.  We named him Everett Gray.  We find Everett to be a nice sounding name and it had some subtle components that really mean a lot to us.  The name has elements of Waverley and Matt's name in it.  I had wanted to name him after my father in law Brian in some way, and Everett means strong and courageous; as strong as a boar.  Brian's college nickname was The Crane because he is so strong.  He is still in possession of an almost bizarrely strong form.  He also has a quiet strength that I pray Everett shares.  His initials are EGL which reminds us of the word eagle.  Jake's grandfather was dear to him.  He loved a particular Bible verse about soaring on wings like eagles.  Yes.  This was the name for our son.

I had prayed for a good head of brown hair.  After the dark beauties in my life I just couldn't get excited about a little blondie.  God agreed that would not be for the best.  Everett had lots of dark brown hair.  He had long feet and big hands.  He looked at me and winked.  Not really.  But he wanted to.

I had been so scared to have a son.  And let's get real.  Some parts are gross.  Harper suggested holding an umbrella while we change his diaper.  This morning I was holding my baby son while it was still dark out.  Giving him a bottle.  When I was done I had him at my shoulder.  He was snuggled into me and breathing quietly in my ear.  A perfect, tiny person in fire engine jammies.  I whispered how much I love him and how I always will.  And I longed for a thousand more perfect boys just like him.















11 comments:

K. Angel said...

He's beautiful! Love the picture of all of your hands with him. God bless you all!

Ingrid said...

I just swooned. love, Courtney

mamachele said...

Molly-I was introduced to your story through Danielle Holtzman. I just finished reading about your precious blessing and I am sitting here in tears. Our God is so good! Congratulations on your newest addition and may God continue to heal you and bless your family!

mamachele said...

Molly-I was introduced to your story through Danielle Holtzman. I just finished reading about your precious blessing and I am sitting here in tears. Our God is so good! Congratulations on your newest addition and may God continue to heal you and bless your family!

Kelsey said...

This is lovely, Molly. It made me think of the text you sent me when E was born. You said, "my son" and I could "hear" the pride and gratitude in your "voice." I will always be amazed at how God makes all things well. Love you!

Dana Lambert said...

My heart has been broken through your words at time, and today, my heart sings with a joy that is unspeakable. Godspeed to you and all of yours.

Rachel J said...

I'm sitting here with a million bajillion things to do and out of town guests coming into town and staying here and lots of little munchkins asking for millions of different things and milk on the floor and now they are asking why I am crying.

Nancy said...

Kelsey told me you had posted and I just had to have a look... This is good. And I love how you and jake honored Matt, his parents and family with the name.
Blessing upon blessing on each and everyone of you.

Nancy

Danielle @ Living Out Loud said...

I love the meaning behind his name. I've often wondered about his name. And all that you wrote about Brian nearly did me in! I love how you love he and Vicki and have kept them so close in your new family. Matt would is so honored by that. I know it. And one other thing I know... he is happy that you are living your life; continuing to love and experience all the joy that this new baby is bringing to your life. Thanks for sharing more of your journey... and for the precious pics! XOXO

brit said...

this is the best :) :) :)

halley said...

I prayed for a second baby for a long, long time. I didn't know if it would ever happen, but I prayed hard. I knew my oldest would be the best big brother the world had ever seen. Seven years, ten months, and twelve days after my first baby was born, my second one was. I have a picture of them together, when Asher was one day old, propped up in his brother's lap. It fills me with happiness from the inside out every time I look at it. The pictures of Harper with her new baby brother give me the same feeling!