Monday, May 28, 2012

and we're back

Harper and I just got back from California. Visiting Matt's family was a really sweet thing. It was also a time where his absence was most striking. Harper loves the beach and the ocean. For some reason her go-to activity this visit was some dancing and cheering at the water's edge. I missed her dad for her. I missed my husband for myself. 

 The whole time we were there I had the 23rd Psalm running through my mind. Harper has it memorized, and I'd ask her to say it to me as she went to bed each night. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. It felt true. It felt like a promise. So I can be bitterly sad. I am. I'll be that way for a long time. I can also recognize that even in those moments, especially in those moments, God is up to something good. He's got things in mind for me. He's leading me. He is restoring me. I'm so thankful for His unchanging love. It is the one thing that always remains.

Still here,


Becky said...

Your faith amazes me. I am glad you know that it's alright to be sad. I'm glad you have hope. I'm Glad you took this picture of Harper. I'm glad you are writing. I'm glad you are you and that I have had the pleasure of knowing you for the last 17 years. Love you!

Jess said...

What a beautiful picture and a beautiful post. May your green pastures and still waters be in abundance.

Jess said...

P.S. I'm glad you are okay with me stalking you and that the Internet makes that possible. ;)

Kelsey said...

Only Jesus - only Jesus could allow a heart so deep in grief and pain to speak such hope. Reading this made me so thankful to the point of tears. All praise to the restorer of souls!

Love you, Molly.

Jessica Blake said...

you are so remarkable. and so is Jesus. you two have that in common.

Carla said...

Your faith is inspiring, Molly. I'm so happy that you got to go to SD and enjoy the ocean and time with Mark and Kathrine, Thank you for sharing your helps us know how to keep praying for you and Harper.
P.S. I am having to type the word "Good to prove I'm not a it!

Yia Yia said...

You are amazing, my Molly. You ARE mine, because God gave you to me as a gift. When I miss Matt so much, I could crawl into a hole and stay there, I am reminded that were it not for his life, I wouldn't have Harper and you in my life. For that and so many other things, I am grateful to the One who gave them. I love you so much. You inspire me, you encourage me, you make me laugh, you let me be sad. You are Molly. XOXO, Vicki
P.S. God is near!!

Danielle @ Living Out Loud said...

Oh Molly... it is always so good to "hear" your "voice" on this page. I love knowing that you are still here; still surviving this terrible storm.

Over the past month as I've thought about you, I've also thought of how grateful I am for the relationships you have formed with Matt's family... with Mark & Katherine and with Brian & Vicki. Those are special "in law" relationships - the kind that don't happen very often. I'm so glad that you have those special bonds even though, at times, they are sure to make Matt's absence more obvious and painful.

We are at the beach this week too and your post makes me miss Matt so very much too... I miss him for Harper and I miss him for you. I know that even though you had a wonderful time, it was bittersweet. Good for you for doing it though... you are a good mom... a really good one!

And I'm with you... I know that I know that I know that God has good things planned for you and Harper. I pray in thanksgiving for Harper and her sweet faith that is encouraging you and helping you. And I pray for continued little moments of joy for you. Hang in there, sweet girl.

Much love,

Pipsylou said...

I don't have much to say, but I figure that saying, "I am here but I don't have anything to say" is better than being here and saying nothing.

Mira's mom said...

He is so very good. So very faithful. Thank you for the update. Still praying.

Katie said...

You don't know me, I am a friend of a friend...but I am loving you and praying for you from a distance. The faith He is giving you is amazing beyond words. Keep on keeping on.

susieschierbeek said...

I haven't logged on to your blog in months and am so heart broken to see that your loving husband, Harper and Waverley's daddy, has passed. I don't even know you, but I'm in total shock. I will pray, pray, pray for you all. May God give you comfort and strength.

Susie Schierbeek

Jinny Newlin said...

What a beautiful, care-free picture, Molly! You have been and continue to be in my thoughts and prayers! The Lord introduced us, through your blog, for a reason; and someday, I look forward to knowing the "real" you ;). Please let us know if you need anything at all. I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump away. Big hugs!