Friday, May 11, 2012

because I don't know. why not?

As per usual I am writing to use the internet as my therapy.  Like most people with a lot of common sense do.  I just put my girl to bed.  Since it is "Mother's Day" (never argue this no matter if it is true or not) her present to me was getting ready for bed without me asking her to do the same things over and over again.  It was actually a pretty amazing gift idea.  I will be asking for this for all future gift giving holidays.

Today only included a couple of hard tasks.  I am getting pretty good at taking care of doing hard things.  By "I" I mean a small team of people.  By "doing hard things" I mean arranging my disgusting new life and telling people that my husband has died and then hating them for making me say it.  Harps only had one serious melt down and a handful of tiny ones.  I got some good mail (I love getting good mail so much) and a present (I love getting presents more than anything).  I had one bad conversation and three good ones.  Tonight some of my favorites are coming for a couple of cocktails and to babysit me while I sleep.  This is a really good day on the spectrum of my days.

I have amazing people taking amazing care of me.  I have funny friends.  I have a home warranty.  I have lots of green tea lattes.  I have a daughter so amazing that she trumps all kids everywhere (sorry -- for saying it and for meaning it). I have some things I am looking forward to. I have hope.  I have a God who is good.  For these reasons I am still standing.



Kelsey said...

Oh I love love love seeing you back here! And I am so glad you had a good day despite having to do some hard things. And also I want to hire Harper to come over and train up Lila to be awesome. Will she accept gummy bears as payment? I have gummy bears.

Here's to more days that hold more of the good than the bad. Love you!

Jessica Blake said...

I love this. Atta girl.

chris and diane said...

i'm so thankful you are still standing, mol. i've been praying for that often...that when your strength fails you, you'd find Jesus helping you up.

stephanie garcia said...

It is so good to hear from you again. We've never met but you are in my prayers and that of my family. I wanted to share a blog with you; perhaps you have seen it before, but the author lost her husband very unexpectedly one year ago and has written, like you, for "therapy" throughout the heartache. It is ... God bless.

cari said...

Happy Mother's Day Molly. You amaze me.

Katie said...

I have to agree that having your child get ready without asking 500 million times is the best gift ever.

I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day, Molly! I think about you and Harper often. Stay strong, friend.

Pipsylou said...

"disgusting new life". yeah.

I started and stopped that dumb note to you seven SEVEN times. I'm not kidding. What do you say? There's not much TO say. It just sucks. or blows. Which is worse? Sucks or blows?

I know you know he's in heaven and all that great stuff but life must feel like a long succession of sad, sucky days stretching out before you right now.

I forgot to send you the gift card that was supposed to be in the envelope, so you will get more snail mail from me!

I am praying that sleeping gives you some reprieve...and I am so so glad you have people around you who "got your back".

I haven't known what to say or how to say it and I just want you to know...what do I want you to know?

Not sure. I just had a Diet Coke for lunch. That's what I want you to know.

One foot in front of the other, I suppose, and grief sucks.

Carol LaGue said...

Praying for you through this Mother's Day weekend. Harper,I'm sure, thinks that you,her mom, trumps ALL the other moms too.