The Last 10 Days

We have spent the past ten days in alternate states of numbness, shock, and grief.  We have been moved by the support we have received as we have started the countdown for the days we have left with our little girl.  From the outside we look to be in good shape.  Our family, friends, and church have prayed for us and loved us, sent us amazing notes and letters, fed us, done laundry, cleaned, done yard work, and ministered to us through their care.  Matt and I constantly wonder out loud how people go through loss without a support system like the one that we are so blessed to have.  My pantry has never looked so clean, we have never had so many clean clothes at once, and right now there is stromboli baking in my oven.  Again, on the outside my life looks prettier than it usually does.  And for that we are so thankful.  Thank you to all of you who contribute to our well being.  You do it so very well.

On the inside, we are a bit of a mess.  We know we have only this borrowed time left with sweet Wave.  I feel like I am choking every time I realize that I will not know her when she is three.  I won't try to explain my grief any more here because it seems senseless to.  Losing a child is impossible.  There aren't words.

Last week we met with our lawyer and an adoption lawyer we have received counsel from before named Martin Bauer.  This man is amazing and our meeting went better than we expected.  We will not be posting any legal information on the blog.  We just do not feel that it would be wise to do so at this point.  So while we will continue to update the blog for a time we will not include anything that is happening on the legal scene.  We did find out one bit of good news during our meeting.  The 30 day clock that we thought we were on does not start until a 20 day period where the supreme court hands a mandate back down to the district court.  So we have up to 50 days with Wavy from the ruling.  We might not have as many as that, but the 50th day is December 18th.  Custody will transfer before then.  

We don't know how to do this.  I don't know what else to say.  We are desperate for your continued prayers for a miracle.  Thank your for caring about our family and our story.

Love,

Molly {Wavybel's mom}