I think about this blog every day. My gaze lingers on the link to it in my favorites bar every time I use this computer. I often think about how much I loved the release I felt after posting and the comfort I received from the comments. I have written out whole posts in my mind so many times. But then I can't come to the site because I don't know how I'll do with the bombardment of pictures of Wave.
I do well when I am very much in control of the things I let myself think about, the memories I revisit and don't, the pictures in my house that I know and love. But man do I get derailed by the unexpected: a picture of her I haven't seen of that I find at my parents' house, a voice in the store that sounds just like hers, an encounter with an acquaintance who doesn't know of our loss and asks how she is. Anything really. So I haven't trusted myself to come here. But I've been gearing up for it. And tonight I cautiously clicked on the link for the first time since February.
I read all of the comments on my last post and all of the comments on Matt's posts. And here I am just typing away! I am crying pretty good but man I have done it. I saw a shirt at J.Crew recently that said "Small Victories" -- at least I think it did. It was actually in French. Which I don't speak. But to me it said "small victories!" And since I like to draw all comfort from mass fashion retailers I took heart. Just kidding. But I really do think it is small victories that can really send me into forward motion. Which is about all I'm asking for these days. So yes, I'm writing a blog about writing this blog post. I'm sure everyone is riveted! (Sarcasm.) It seems so risky. While I can't be completely sure that this won't cause me more pain than gain I am feeling very brave. Bravery is my small victory.
Ta da!
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15 comments:
I love you I love you I love you. Proud of every single victory. Out of the ashes my sweet sister, out of the ashes.
Bravery is a HUGE victory. I still check almost daily to see if youve written any of your thoughts down. We are still praying for you everyday. And we will continue to! You are blazing a path to the heart of Jesus like no one else can. And i love being in your wake. you are brave Molly. and bravery to fight for hope and joy is a trait to be sought after. you guys are incredible.
you are funny. and you have so much to say. and people need to hear you.
write on.
my favorite saying these days is: we can do the hard things.
Ditto to Jami Nato! Took the words right out of my mouth! Yay for small victories!
Yay! Bravery! You gutsy mama, you.
You are an incredible woman- just thought you should know I think so.
Praying more strength for those guts....giving God glory always!!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Hm and He will direct your path." Prov. 3;5,6
YOU ARE AWESOME, MOLLY!
Congratulations! Small victories must be celebrated! And selfishly, I have to say that it is so wonderful to "hear" your voice here again! Like so many, I look at the link daily hoping it might reveal a new post from you or Matt. So I hope you will continue to come here; being brave and putting yourself at risk in the great hope that it will bring you comfort, peace and a maybe even a nudge forward :) You are brave. You are an inspiration! Much love, sweet friend!
So good to hear from both your hearts. God does indeed bring healing and restoration as we lean on and trust Him. I continue to wear my bracelet as a constant reminder to pray for Wavy as well as you guys. Thanks to you both for trusting us with posting again.
You are very much a brave woman! Way to GO!! I send much love your way, thinking and praying for you always! Katy
Ta Da was a perfect way to end this post. It marks an accomplisment to be proud of. My daughter is in gymnastics and after every tumble she finishes with a Ta Da and a smile with her hands in the air. So I imagine you had a smile on your face too! I've followed this blog for a long time and it was great to hear from both of you recently and know that you are getting through this!
It is so good to hear from you again. I have thought of you often and continue to pray for all of you. Being able to post on this site is not a small victory - it is a huge victory! It is good to know you are moving forward.
Janet
it's great to hear from you on here again!!! way to go. one little step at a time.
You are incredibly brave Molly. So proud of you. You inspire me in so many ways. Jadyn & Maci pray for Waverley all the time..... she remains in the hearts and on the minds of so many.......
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